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Post by Admin on Dec 6, 2012 15:38:04 GMT -5
 Please let us know what you think! |
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Post by arcalian on Dec 14, 2012 14:24:17 GMT -5
The story was well written and evocative, though Nightrunner sounds like he half-expects to fail at any time.
Also, some of the small text at the beginning was hard to read.
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Post by Fantômas on Dec 14, 2012 17:58:36 GMT -5
Nightrunner sounds like he half-expects to fail at any time. Ah, I felt there needed to be something to offer a counter-point to the uber-confident, uber-competent Batman, as well as demonstrating a much younger, much less experienced and much less trained hero. But yes, he doesn't quite get to demonstrate his own strengths quite as much as he should, though he starts talking a bigger game near the end. Hopefully we'll see a Nightrunner with his confidence issues resolved soon enough, though it'll have to wait until Bruce's business in Japan is concluded (stay tuned for Batman in Go! Go! Mr. Unknown! coming up soon!). Also, some of the small text at the beginning was hard to read. The harder to read material is mostly me messing around with cut-up writing (good deal of older DC2 Batman issues chopped up in with some other materials), so I thought I'd shrink down the less coherent scribbling of Honor Jackson (Gotham's own version of William S. Burroughs) so that it acts more as flavoursome background to the relevant text of the journal entry. We might see more of Honor Jackson's journal, and it'll probably change form a few times until I can get it looking right without being needlessly obtuse. Fleshing out some of Gotham's history and culture, and I think a sort of Beat undercurrent of drifter society fit in quite nicely. Anyway, thank-you for reading and offering your kind words and thoughts, arc. Much appreciated. |
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Post by HoM on Aug 29, 2013 14:40:27 GMT -5
The opening scene was a bit too ominous for ominous' sake, but it did the job. What did the job even more was the journal extract, which was stream of thought nonsense made good. Loved the random nature of the content, I loved it, and it felt good and right and real, and even though some of the formatting has been screwed up (I think because of the upgrade to new Proboards) I liked that, I liked how the writing was askew, it just felt like this was the description of a fictional drug with massive side effects and it felt like the person who wrote this was on the drug at the time of writing this journal! Well done, sir. I wish you'd started the issue like this! Be brave! Be experimental!
My knowledge of Pierrot Lunaire is little to non-existent, and I enjoyed how bloody mopey he was all the time. I loved that he was almost a caricature of the French sad clown we've all seen in media, and that made him all the more creepy.
I'm never sure what to make of "nationalised" versions of characters (the British Joker being the exception because he was BRILLIANT in Knight and Squire), but this is working, even though it's a few steps away from BATMAN R.I.P. which is fine!
It's obvious from the narrative tools you're using (see above) and the characters you've chosen that Grant Morrison is a huge influence (how could he not be on a Batman, Inc title?), but you're putting your own spin on it. That's the best thing we can do as writers of fan fiction, as fans of that medium.
I liked how Batman was training Nightrunner through the mission, how he was giving him direction, and at the same time, Bilal was excelling, doing what he did best. And the fact that he KNEW the people who were downtrodden, taken advantage of, I liked that too. The fact that he could relate to the people he was having to take down, that was a really interesting spin on it.
The Alfred appearance was great, albeit short. Batman needing Nightrunner more than Nightrunner need him was great, and the fact that Bilal was unsure of himself, not cocky like Nightwing, not naive like Robin, but more like he half expected to trip up, that's what I liked most bout the character.
Good work. Good issue. I keep coming back.
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